Right now, I'm struggling with a lot of different feelings and emotions, the trouble is most of them are not the ones that I'm proud to display. To begin with, I spent Wednesday and Thursday listening and loving on a loved one that was trying to get out of a bad relationship. I was so proud of her as she seemed to really understand that an addict needed to get professional help before they can be a part of a healthy relationship to see her after talking half a night and then go to see him early this am. I guess I am sad because I am worried about her and its not that she really loves this person she just doesnt feel like she is worth it. And can I be honest? Im furious that she doesnt love herself, cant see that other people love her, and that she is settling...
Another lady, invited me and the Hubby to her home along with other people, but here is the thing, I can not make her understand that those three steps are too much, I'm not going to take a chance on letting Tim fall, He is in a wheelchair but three steps are really three too many. It doesnt matter how you think He could do it, He cant and even though it sounds snobby they are both heavy smokers. I can not stand smoke and it doesnt like me either, I can not breathe around it and my asthma acts up. So here I am trying to extend Grace and getting physically ill. I dont see how this can end well, Im trying to love people and yet there are times when I dont even like them. I invited them to my home, nothing seemed good enough for her. I'm at a loss. I offered to help her with her school work but then she needed a mouse...and I needed a break!
Nothing is going really good today,
AHHHHHH!
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